A Lesson I Should Have Learned A Long Time Ago

So, yesterday I wrote on my other blog "When Parents Grow Old and Get Crazy" about the struggle of having enough money to take care of six of us (three children, two parents and myself). Money is going to be even tighter now. After two years of waiting and hoping, it seemed like my place of employment was finally going to bring me on full-time and give me benefits. Just yesterday, they pretty much said they would by giving me information on their insurance programs. They have had me working full-time hours for quite a while now, but have once again decided to screw me over and cut my hours. This is not the first time, and I have reason to be confident it will only be the last time if I make it the last time. They owe me a raise. They owe me a full-time position. They owe me benefits. They owe me a reasonable, logical explanation as to why they keep passing me over. I feel like I have been abused and taken advantage of and if I were to choose to sue, I might have a case.

I have worked very hard for them; harder, in my opinion, than almost all of the admins in the company. I offer to do any work that needs to be done or learn new tasks. I take the places of people who leave or are absent. I do good work and I make very few mistakes. If I do make a mistake, I own it and fix it. I have even come to work and did my best when I was terribly ill. I am almost never late. I almost never call in sick. I have never taken a vacation. Until recently, when I read the employee handbook, I didn't even know I was entitled to one because I was always part-time status, even when they had me working full-time hours. I have never been given a raise in the two years I have been here. I almost never complain, and when I do, it is always professionally. Also, I am the lowest paid employee in the entire office.

Despite all this, I am also the most educated person in the entire office. I almost feel stupid admitting that because I should be smart enough not to take this abuse again.

I had a job once before, working for the County of Riverside, in which I tried my hardest, came to work after falling down the stairs and hurting myself pretty badly, stressed myself out immensely for this job, and still lost it. Why do I push myself so hard for employers that will never appreciate it? Apparently the company I work for now likes people who shop online and text most of the day, who do sub-par work and are of average to below average intelligence. We even have an admin who thought Indonesia was in Japan and didn't know the Navy was a branch of the military. The VP's son, who makes a lot more than me doing work I could easily do, cannot spell and has minimal education. That's OK though; he's the VP's son.

So, the lesson here is take a giant dose of "fuck it all" every day. Realize that people will never appreciate what you do for them and no employer will ever value you as much as they should. Call in sick when you need to. Take vacations, even if it's just sitting at home playing X-Box. Do your work while you're there, Do your best. But never kill yourself in the process. No one will ever be worth it.

Shirking Parental Responsibilities

Parents these days often shirk responsibility. They are so quick to blame everyone but themselves for everything that goes wrong or they perceive to be wrong. They blame the school or the teacher because their child is failing or not learning. They boycott Target because they are inclusive instead of being narrow-minded bigots. If you are worried about your child's education, supplement their learning yourself. If you are worried about something happening to them in a Target restroom, accompany them to the restroom yourself. Personally, I am more worried about my kids encountering these irresponsible bigots than I am them encountering a transgender person.

The truth of the matter is that this has nothing to do with an actual fear of something happening to your child. It is a homophobic fear on your part and a desire to press your agenda on everyone else. It is not the school's or teacher's responsibility to teach your children everything. It is your responsibility to make sure they attend school, that they behave appropriately while there, that they respect their instructors, that they do their homework and that you supplement their education with what you feel they should know. Likewise, it is not Target's responsibility to supervise your children in their restroom or to push your socially intolerant agenda. This isn't about you being stripped of your rights. It's about you attempting to strip others of their rights. Get off your high horse! Shop at Target or don't. I, and many others like me, will appreciate not having to wait behind you in line.

Relaunch

I get many book ideas. Sometimes I even start these books. I might write a few chapters, and my brain might “write” a few more, perhaps even the ending, that never actually makes it out of my brain and into writing. I haven’t published anything in quite a while. I used to be very prolific. I used to actually transform thoughts into actions and share my work with people, be it music or poetry or academic writing. To a large degree, being in the wrong types of relationships with the wrong types of people has silenced me for many years, almost completely silencing my music, muffling my muse and giving way to a phantom academic at best. Academic writing was a welcome addition to my writing abilities, but while I wish to continue to nurture this ability, I also wish to revive my muse and start making some beautiful noise again.

I have invited my muse to come live inside my head again, and we have begun making some beautiful noise together and doing a little bit of creative writing. I have also begun to get rid of some of the garbage that has been holding me back. I am surrounding myself with people who inspire me and who do not let me get away with making excuses, which brings me to the purpose of this two-paragraph preface. Another book idea entered my brain today and immediately the other side of my brain, which I often referred to as the practical side, shot it down with: “How many books are you going to start that you never finish?” “How many book ideas can you possibly entertain at once?” “When are you ever going to have time for that?” “Don’t you think you should finish your last piece of academic writing first?”

My muse has apparently been taking lessons from my almost constant companion who generally discourages excuse making, offers solutions to obstacles and who often channels Yoda by saying “Do or do not, there is no try”. She retorted: “No excuses! This must be written! This is important! And yes, she needs to finish writing all of those things and she will and this is how. Blog it. Write it. Edit it. Commit to doing at least one of these each day, even if just a little. Write! Other people share these same experiences and they need to know they’re not alone. You need to know you’re not alone. Write. Throw on your proverbial Nike’s and “Just Do It!” ®

Do what, you ask. Write about what? Everything. But, in the process of trying to relaunch into writing this blog again, I accidentally opened up a new blog, which launched another brainchild. Create a different blog for each topic. So, without further adieu, may I introduce you to my newest book idea about to get its own blog: When Parents Grow Old and Get Crazy.